Every week the NFL trots out all the games and we are just stuck with whatever our local TV provider says we have to watch. But if we had all the games available to us, like a buffet line of sorts, what would we watch this weekend? I’ll give you an expected value of this week’s slate of games, as well as a look into my ADD riddled mind.
Joe Burrow had an awful week one that he will try to forget and look to bounce back this week. Much like Ohio State fans forget that he transferred to LSU and won a Natty. I think this is game of the week for the NFL. I rate this one a “Jess” on the scale of Rory Gilmore’s boyfriends. It’s clearly the best but for some stupid reason we’ll up being forced to watch Bears v Bucs instead. (Dean, obviously Dean. I am just now realizing that saying Dean sucks isn’t some super deep Gilmore Girls take. Dean sucks and it’s obvious pretty much right from the start.)
On the one hand we get to watch two rookie QBs try to find their footing in the NFL. On the other hand, it’s two rookie QBs on very bad teams. If your a fan of these teams your watching with eager interest but otherwise I would question why you are watching at all. I rate this a “aliens in Mexico” on the scale of believable hoaxes. Do you really think when we discover aliens they will look exactly like E.T.? Did Spielberg have inside info on this already?
The last time these two teams played in ended in 48-45 scorigami. And the time before that a blistering 51-29 (almossstt a scorigami). The triolgy better feature a more inspired Lions defense. I rate this one a “Revenge of the Sith” on the trilogy meter. As in your anticipation for this one is somehow still sky high despite the previous two installments absolutely crushing your soul. Maybe the third one will somehow save it all?
The other contender for game of the week. Chiefs starting 0-2 would be frankly humorous and yet somehow unalarming. Here is hoping they win so it isn’t the only thing I hear people talking about on sports radio this week. I rate this one a “Summoning Salt” on the scale of YouTube channels. No matter what I am doing, no matter who I am with, I drop everything to make sure I can watch this thing beginning to end in complete concentration.
Two teams that started the season off with a win, yet I am still not ready to believe in. With the incredible weakness of the NFC this year it’s almost certain at least one of these two will make the playoffs, a win here goes a long ways. I rate this one a “Masked Singer” on the watchable talent shows meter. I’ll keep a disinterested eye on it out of morbid curiosity to see how it ends, all while being disgusted throughout the entire run time, unless someone turns out to be actually good.
In a touching tribute, Aaron Rodgers runs out on the field holding the American Flag for the opening game of the New York Jets on 9/11. He followed up that tribute with a second one, by proving to be a lot less sturdy than initially thought. The turf is the jet fuel in this analogy and Rodgers’ achilles, the steal beams. I rate this one a “9/11 joke” on the scale of things that will stop me from making it big time in my blogs. Right behind grammar, and spelling… and quality.
I rate this game “mashed” on the scale of potatoes. And don’t get any ideas, mashed potatoes are BY FAR the worse way to consume potatoes. Anything would be edible smothered in gravy and covered in butter. The Canadians figured that out long ago with Poutine. We are doing it WRONG people.
The Monday Night game before the real Monday Night game. The Saints are another potential NFC threat, so as a Lions fan it holds my interest. But only barely, like I can’t wait for the 8:15 game to come on so I can banish this one to the second screen. I rate this game a “Stannis” on the list of Game of Thrones characters you like. It’s solid, it never gets you overly excited but it will have a moment or two where you think, “wait is he actually going to make this an interesting game?” And then it won’t, and you’ll turn it off rather unceremoniously.
This game has potential to be awesome. Two teams that hate each other, the Steelers are always competitive except they weren’t last week. The Browns get smashed in big games except they didn’t last week. I rate this game a “get to leave work early” on the scale of life’s simple joys. It shouldn’t bring you this much joy to leave work an hour early but somehow it fills you with the vigor of life that makes you feel like life is good, and everything is going to work out.
It is just a thrill to be excited to watch NFL football again. This is mostly stemming from having a Lions team to be excited about. I just haven’t really had a time in my adult life where I would be truly looking forward to NFL Sundays, and to have this feeling of anticipation feels foreign. But I had the joy of going to a Lions game last year, (and absolute dismantling of the playoff bound Jaguars). And it all sort of makes sense, the whole state of Michigan is ready to rally behind Lions, and while I’m still only dipping a toe in the water, the water feels good. I might be ready to cannonball right into this thing, just let me take my phone out of my pocket first.
-GN
Gamenotes 