I want to start off by just reiterating how blessed I am. Blessed to be writing this, blessed to have a Wife who loves the Lord, and loves me, and how often I just look at her and feel so incredibly lucky. And then I kick myself for a second and realize how it wasn’t luck, but God who ordered our footsteps, and gave us both the guidance we need to get to where we are today.
Our relationship has evolved in so many powerful ways. I’ve grown from a 15 year old boy to a 32 year old man with Hannah and of course she has changed so much as well. I made so many mistakes along the path to get here it seems unfathomable to feel so secure in my marriage now. God has really blessed us, in our finances, our house, our children, our extended family, all of it. I can’t really say much without repeating that over and over again, which I will do here. Hannah you have been the rock in my life that God knew I needed. I didn’t realize it in the moment, but these little special interactions are important cogs in the wheels of our relationship. Now that I’m old, I look back at those soul-mate and see them so clearly. I see how perfect they are, and I treasure them deeply.
Those soul-mate moments I look back on with such thankfulness. Of course the moments you can’t forget include the obvious ones. The ones we both know will be catalogued forever, our wedding, the birth of our kids, that one night in Orlando, the picture of a pregnancy test over text message…. But what about the times when I was having a moment? The “how-did-I-ever-get-so-lucky-to-have-Hannah-as-my-soul-mate” moments? And you didn’t even know it was happening? Maybe you did know?
Riding in the back of Holly’s maroon car, I had just lost a basketball game and had some other things going on in my life that had me just very depressed. I half laid in the back seat and put my head on your lap. You were singing “Silent Night” and just trying to comfort me in general. No words, no speech, no fixing it, just Silent Night. And the peace you brought into that car felt like a spell. I was entranced. I was comforted. I felt a rare moment of being in the exact right place where God wanted me to be. Did you know I was having a moment?
At church last week I distinctly heard your voice amongst it all, “You can have it all God” and for a second I was back in that car.
Or when Grandpa Denny died, we weren’t far into our young marriage. I was such a wreck, when we got the news after his stroke that things weren’t looking great and we should go see him one last time. I sat on the edge of the bed on Lydia and cried. I wasn’t going to go, didn’t think I could do it. You convinced me otherwise, I felt like you sat on the edge of that bed and just infused some strength into me just by holding my hand. Those tiny bony fingers have some magic in them you know? I felt like if it was anyone other than Hannah Hays in that moment I would’ve collapsed from all those feelings. And you just propped me up. From all the lessons I took away from Grandpa’s passing the one I think that stuck with me the most was how I couldn’t live without you.
How about the gifts you’ve given me? It seems almost silly to mention here. But I think your top tier gift giving over our relationship is worth mentioning. Yes, the gifts are nice, the material possessions are nice. But the moments of absolute Joy you have provided through hard work or determination are really special. Gifting me my High School scoreboard from the gym that holds all of my fondest sporting memories? Or how about waking up in the middle of the night to check twitter updates to find a Series X? I’m certainly not in a relationship for the gifts, but I think it all points to a larger topic that I am in a relationship for. You propel me to enjoy all aspects of life. From playing games on my Steam Deck to hosting a basketball league outside of my house, to long weekends in Madison. You work to bring me Joy. You sacrifice to bring me Joy. I think this paragraph sounds so silly compared to the others and yet this is the one that is choking me up. You’d do anything to see me fulfilled, do you know how valuable that is in a partner? You’re so selfless. How am I so lucky?
How about last summer in the driveway? Our kids, happy to be outside playing with the neighbors. We brought out the card table and played Dice Throne. A simple gesture, something seemingly innocuous. But I looked around for a second… our kids, our house, our dog, our cars. Playing my beautiful wife, in my favorite board game, having a battle of wits and rolling dice. The Michigan sun shining down on us, as you bit your lower lip deep in thought as what course of action would be beat me. (I had all this time because you were taking FOREVER to make a play.) But instead of anxiously shuffling my cards I just had a moment of appreciation. My inner dialogue piped up, “Dude, your playing board games with the love of your life, how awesome is that.” It was just a perfect day of nothing special, and I was having a moment. (We had another day like that with Double Dash on the porch…do I just like being outside?)
Or how about just the other day? We sat around a table playing a STUPID board game called Hues and Cues. I could go on and on about the importance of your siblings, and your parents, to me. I’ve done that time and time again, and I was reminded of it here, but even amongst that I looked over at you while deliberating which one word hint would best convey a soft pink. And you looked me in the eyes and squinted in response to my smirk. I chuckled, inwardly I felt like somehow I just communicated to you telepathically how best to answer this. I gave the hint, “Lennox’s”. I was certain you would pick up what I was putting down, that I was trying to indicate the color of the walls in the Lennox’s room. A hint that only soul-mates could connect on, when everyone else would be clueless.
Your glorious response, “TERRIBLE HINT”. As you put your guess on a Royal Purple half a board away from my soft pink.
That’s on me! Hannah you deal in cold hard facts, not wishy-washy moments of eye contact. I know exactly how you operate I am not sure why I decided to get so far out of your lane. After I recovered from my horrible blunder I just laughed to myself. Of course you weren’t feeling a thing when I looked over, I’m the only one in this relationship that gets romantic during a BOARD GAME. I love us!
Hannah I’ve got about twenty more moments I could share. You are the beautiful centerpiece in all of them. That fact that there are times in my life, even moments, where I take your excellence for granted is one of my biggest regrets. I love you so much. Lets keep making soul-mate moments for forever.
Gamenotes 