Week 0 Recap
It is good to be back, even if being back means watching Vandy vs Hawaii (I didn’t). But sometimes when you’re a football junky, or…. Vanderbilt, you just have to take the wins where you can get them. And college football being BACK is a win. NCAA is smart to put a bunch of horrible games in the week 0 slot. Much like the man stranded in the desert who gets thirsty enough to drink his own urine, I am here for UNLV vs Idaho State. Illinois has a QB named Tommy Devito which is a really great name for a QB. Tommy Devito sounds like he hangs out with Joe Burrow, and they just cruise around town on Harleys and play pool really well and win football games. Way better than a loser sounding name, a name like…. Ahh man I don’t want to be offensive here I will just pick a random generic name here, Scott Frost. Yeah that totally at-random name sounds like they would lose 1437 consecutive 1 touchdown games in a row.
Buckle up Cornhuskers there is really only one thing to talk about here. Maybe just skip ahead to the Week 1 Preview.
Scott Frost must be really onside kicking himself after blowing that one.
Scott Frost has a losing record in two countries now.
Scott Frost is statistically the worst Nebraska coach you’ve been alive to witness and that includes Bo Pelini and Mike Riley.
More Throw-ups? Nebraska’s O-line or Scott’s hands after Nebraska gives up another 10 point lead?
Just a heads-up, Scott Frost probably won’t be fired until his buyout dramatically drops mid-season and they have his replacement lined up, as a general Matt Rhule of thumb.
It is worth noting, I would love it if Scott Frost stays at Nebraska, never has it been so much fun to root against an absolutely pitiful Big 10 team. When it is Rutgers or Indiana, I just end up feeling bad. When it pans to Scott Frost looking visibly humiliated I just cackle like a maniac. All the other teams I hate win ALL the time, its exhausting. Hating Frost just comes so easy, my Daddy hated him in his playing days, all of Florida hated him for years, and now all of the Big10 just despises him. He’s a passionate, arrogant, over the top personality who is constantly the obnoxious coach on the sideline with a punchable face…. oh no oh nononono… He’s me. (It took me like 10 minutes of self introspection here to try and write the rest of this… I only made my players puke like 4 times ever.)
Week 1 Preview
WVU vs Pitt17
It is on Thursday and I am still
thirsty (lets not keep doing the desert analogy) hungry for college football. We get to see why Pitt is curiously ranked 17th (and find out its because of the TV ratings). Also it is called the backyard brawl, how great is that? Do the kids even care it is a rivalry game? The last backyard brawl was played when they were likely 9 years old, the only back yard brawl they knew back then involved throwing pocket sand and using an obscenely large tree branch as a light saber. Shoutout to my homie Travis that dude was lethal with an Oak branch. (Like actually lethal it is amazing I survived as a kid.)
Michigan State vs. Western Michigan
We get to see how State looks dealing with the LAW. (Life After Walker) I have a joke here I am just too afraid to make. About how State usually deals with the LAW. It made it through story-board and rough draft, but right here it is time to publish and I am backing out. Much like the Vikings after thinking about hiring Harbaugh. (I just bashed my entire reading base’s fandom, this is how you get popular, right?)
Georgia3 vs Oregon11
Georgia opens as 17.5 point favorite over another quality top 15 school and we can just get depressed when Georgia blows them out. Georgia put 15 guys into the NFL last year, they should not allowed to be amazing. Plus it will just be more fun if Oregon is good. Maybe the next Big10 team? Please Oregon, please… put up a fight. HELP ME BELIEVE THE MYTH THAT PARITY EXSISTS.
Notre Dame5 vs Ohio State2
Georgia Ohio State opens as 17.5 point favorite over another quality top 15 school and we can just get depressed when Georgia Ohio State blows them out. Ohio State but 8 guys into the NFL last year, they should not be allowed to be amazing. Plus it will just be more fun if Oregon Notre Dame is good. Maybe the next Big10 team? Please Oregon, Notre Dame, please… put up a fight. HELP ME BELIEVE THE MYTH THAT PARITY EXSISTS.
Utah7 vs Florida
This will be the actual best game to watch this week. I think everyone who has watched any Florida football knows that something crazy is 100% going to happen this game. I am guessing it comes down to the final play. This will finally be the game that announces to the world COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS BACK. We can be starving no longer. Come eat my children, our college football dinner is served and it smells like burning leaf piles, some rubbery torn up turf, and venison, and I am ready to eat.
I’m going to be a good little blog boy and post once a week this season. But engagement is what keeps the wheels turning.
What I am saying is, if I stop posting, shame me. And if I had something in here that made you laugh, (I love the Matt Rhule of thumb joke so much) let me know!