Detroit Lions. Needed that one man. Leave it to the Lie-Dogs to make that Kirk Cousins Contract look good. And man, Dalvin Cook. Lions hype was at an all time high going in to Monday Night Football. One short week later, the season is over. Not going 8-2 down the stretch no matter how hard they play.
When the frozen dinner lists different wattages for cook time…dude. I’m eating a frozen Salisbury steak (That would make Mr. Salisbury roll over in his grave) and something that claims to be mashed potatoes at 9pm on a Wednesday, do you think I know the wattage of my microwave?
Michigan fighting back in the white out, after being down so much, after sending us all to the Black Pit Of Negative Expectations (BPONE) was such a delight. It’s good to know this team can still fight an uphill battle. Fun to see them have “their finest hour”. It really stinks we came up short. And I’m sick of morale victories. Can we have real victories now? “Yes hi, I’ll take one game where we win in an awesome fashion and I feel really good, please. Thanks!”
If you share something that says, “It’s national ____ day.” And there is no date listed, you are an idiot. That post has been shared for months and just now worked it’s way to you. Unless it really is national bathe your cat day for the 18th day in a row.
LSU is the version of Michigan football I wish we were. Crazy good athletes, slinging the ball, fast defense. They are what fun college football looks like. Unlike:
How many times do I have to tell you to watch Lamar Jackson? He was especially fun this Sunday. What a fun team, good coach, great organization. This is what happens when you tailor your gameplan to match your players and not the other way around.
I will let you in on something, pumpkin spice is over rated. It’s seasonal. You know what seasonal is code for? Average. We live in AMERICA. And if we as a people wanted to drink Pumpkin Spice year round, you can bet your booty a business would be slinging that spice year round. But No! The illusion of rarity draws us in. It’s the only way you gross people would ever eat something called a McRib. This latte is so seasonal. Shut up. The only thing worse than Pumpkin Spice in October is peppermint in December. You people are pathetic. (Who am I even talking to?)
I am a casual follower of baseball at best, but every time I hear about a player doing well it feels like they are an ex-Tiger? Did we rebuild too soon? Did we lose our funding? What happened here? Are we the new Marlins? I don’t like baseball enough to care but I like sports enough to feel angry about it.
Georgia losing last week, that’s so Georgia. But like, Old Georgia. I think we can move on from the stupid 3 SEC teams in the final four narrative though. Two, at most, is fine. Every other conference seems pretty bad at this point. Proud of you though Minnesota! Even though it makes the big10 look realllyyyy bad!
If you try to sell something publicly on Facebook and when I inquire you tell me you will DM me the info. You might as well punt that DM in to outer space. “Hey I’ve got something really good to sell! Its so good I don’t want anyone else but you to get the details.” I am not knocking your hustle, (I can if you want me to) but I get it. But that part really makes me go cross-eyed.
Rutgers opens as 4 point underdogs vs Liberty at home. (<– That is the punchline)
Did I mail it in with a bunch of memes? Or did I ENHANCE the article by adding pictures. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.